thoughts

im getting thinner
why am i not happy
everyone is telling me how skinny i look
but yet inside i feel like a fat cow
are they just telling me im skinny
so i can eat a get fat like them
mt ribcage is starting to show
but i still dont feel satisfied
the guy that i was with dumped me
he said that something about me changed
causing me to binge and purge
im growing weaker and weaker by the day
till it reaches the point where it hurts to breathe
my best friend matt is starting to notice something
he notices everything about me
i just wish he would notice that ive been in love with him
since the day we became friends
all his girlfriends have been perfect size zeros
maybe i should be like them and then maybe he would want me

i feel like ana is testing me
to see how faithful i am
but i dont know how much i can take

every single day the urge to kill myself gets stronger and stronger
i dont know anymore whether i want to live or die
ana please give me the strength to be strong
give me hope
have faith in me.....