Monday, June 15, 2009

Fasting Day 1

it started out pretty good till 
around 10a.m. when i started craving 
for a ham and cheese sandwich 
i went and bout the sandwich and ate
it and it took me a good hour to eat it 
because i felt so guilty for eating it 
i felt like a fat sloppy whore that couldn't 
control themselves so when i was done eating it 
i felt out of control so i got back into control
by purging no one was in the bathroom when
i started it but a security guard walked in and asked me if i was 
okay and i just said i drank some sour milk and its really upsetting my stomach 
you have to have a lot of excuses handy if you want to keep this a secret 
i dont think i am going to eat dinner tonight but if my mom starts acting weird 
then i have to but ill just eat really slow and drink lots of water in between 
so i can say im full being anorexic is a full time job with great benefits 
no one likes a fat sloppy girl
every guy wants a girl they can pick up and buy cute petite things for them 
im tired off losing weight and then gaining it all back 
i never took my ED serious before but now i know 
that my ED is a lifestyle and i have to take control and be serious about the results i want 
 well this is the end of this blog im going to go work out for about 3 hours yes i know thats 
a long time but like i said im serious and i have a goal to reach 

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